"A clouded mind"

Friday the 14th of May 2010.

Australia 3:47pm

Austria 9:47am

The language barrier is really starting to shit me. I wish so very much I could speak to my grandparents. I think I'm getting better but it's still so very limited. My mind is still so hazy too. I think the jet lag and lack of sleep is starting to get to me. I also think I've been eating to much.

I want to go exploring into the backyard but it's too wet and it wont stop raining, and I feel a cold possibly approaching which is bad, very bad.

I wish everyone was with me. I wish everyone was here with me to go explore. To keep me company when the sky is glum. to make me happy when I am sad, to be here, always. To help make the mistakes. To experience all the life lessons.

This one's for Brittney

To help me through I was listening to my quite large indie/rock playlist from 2007 all the way through to 2010.

"Forgotten memories."

Thursday the 13th of May. 2010

Australia 2:43pm

Austria 8:43am

So it's been 2 days. I have had so much fun, I cannot stop smiling. I know I'm going to have the best time ever. I admit, I was worried that I would be too afraid, too ashamed to go do things, but that fear has been erased and replaced with nothing but pure assurance, that I will have a an amazing adventure.

Wednesday the 12th of May, my first day awake and out in the world. I awoke at 9:41am. My grandparents took me down to the store to purchase some goods for breakfast. Some fresh bread and turkey. I then came home to a feast, I ate 3 sandwiches, and believe me they were not so small. My Opa and I were then off. On a mission to lodge my Austrian passport. First for a photograph, then to the shire, the bank then back to the store and home.

By this time I was more then a bit peckish, so it was time to eat yet again. Schnitzel was on the menu, my absolute favourite dish on the planet, so of course I had to over eat. So the only thing I could do after this monstrous feast was sleep. I managed to stay under for 4 hours. I felt horrid once I awoke because I'd told my best friend Viki I would visit her at 11am and it was now 3:30pm. Oops. I then was asked to go flower shopping with Oma and Opa, how could I resist?? So about 4:30pm I finally made it down to the otherside of town, with a smile that could not be wiped from my face, to a meeting place, a football oval where they waited, waited for me.

It's been 2 years since I've seen her, 6 years since we actually sent some time together, having fun.

We talked for long.

She invited me to go with her, her boyfriend Pepi and others to party. Though they kept reminding me "It's not a party, it's just a few hundred people getting together on a farm to drink", they also kept telling me that "It would be shit, and not fun." But I was up for anything, and to me this sounded so lovely, so of course I agreed.

That night I had much too much vodka. But it wasn't my fault a young man bought me the bottle, to be fair, we did share it. I then went a bit crazy when the cover band started playing songs I was familiar with. I don't remember how I managed it but I ended up with a bruised foot, multiple cuts on my fingers and a tender thigh.

I don't really remember much after the vodka. My memory is lost. I don't remember remember the boy, I don't remember the dance, I don't remember the kiss, I don't remember the ride home. I am a bad person.

"Death would have been so much sweeter"

The morning after I felt like "fuck". It was horrid. All I was capable of after the drive home was sleeping in the sauna then sleeping in my bed. That is all.

Myself and Viktoria

Of course there was a drunken toilet picture.

They are a lovely couple

"Home sweet home"

Wednesday the 12th of May 2010

Australia 7:00am

Austria The bell tower just ticked 1:00am.

It was nice. To walk through those big front doors to a place where I am a child again.

Munich airport, Germany. To walk through those arrival gates, to see my grandparent's faces light up was overwhelming. The feeling of happiness brought tears to my eyes. The feeling of accomplishment brought joy to my heart. The feeling of home brought warmth and serenity to my soul.

I cannot wait for the sun. For light to illuminate the fields, filled with flowers and trees and so, so much more. I cannot wait for the sun, so I can go explore. I cannot wait for the sun, to warm my ever dulling skin.

My room

The candle lit night. Waldkirchen

My lovely friend Gabbi sends her love in a box. A memory of her.

I'm starting to sink into a slumber, Regina Spektor bringing me to a place of dreams. Goodnight world.

Australia 2:04pm

Austria 8:04am

"I just seen a chocolate rabbit run it's little heart out. A green Audi was chasing it." - I love how there is so much nature everywhere, everywhere you look.

Australia 2:15pm

Austria 8:15am

"The sun's just shone through the clouds."

"To watch the world fly by with such speed is so very thrilling."

Tuesday the 11th of May 2010

Australia 9:02pm

Austria 3:02pm

So I'm sitting here waiting, listening to the one and only Lykke Li. A space between myself and the gentleman beside me.

As I write this, I should be in a slumber. But here I am writing, here I am listening, here I am watching. Writing paper and pen, listening to the thrum of the engine, watching the world fly by.

I watch out the window of this aircraft, watch everything drive by backwards.

Dear Dubai,

I find your wether not nice, not at all my "cup of tea." The sky's a sepia haze and the ground is nothing but dry cracked earth. I look forward to a blue sky. To rolling evergreen hills and imaginative clouds. I have long awaited this day to return home, and now I am here, home sweet home, Waldkirchen.

"Construction hats flew past as buildings rose towards the sky. The sky, a place where I seek my inspiration."

Sincerely yours

Langing

Up, up, and away.

Current time Perth, Australia 4:16pm

Current time Dubai airport 12:00pm

Current time Waldkirchen, Austria 10:17am

Altitude: 12192 metres

Ground speed: 861 km/h

My ears hear: Cousins - Vampire Weekend.

So finally I'm here, well not here as in home in Waldkirchen, but here on my way. This plane ride is not so bad. I'm sitting on a family row of 4 all alone. That's right, I have 3 mini televisions and 4 seats to myself. However If I had a choice I'd rather be sitting up back with those good looking boys.

So usually I really enjoy plane food, but to tell you the truth I was disappointed this time round.

I did manage to get some shut eye though which is always good, but then again I guess I had no excuse too with the ample space for my toosh. Arriving at Dubai airport was definitely a shock to my system. As I walked through those opened doors onto that ramp I felt like l would melt to the floor within the nest few seconds. "A lovely 30 degree heat day" quote the pilot. The heat was so overwhelming, but I guess that's the joys of travel.

Right now I'm sitting on this navy blue vinyl reclined chair. Next to some other passengers awaiting to bored the next flight to Munich Germany. I'm running out of time for this blog, because people are boarding the aircraft. I'm thinking maybe I should go next. I'll post some pictures as soon as I can but for now here's a letter from me to you about my travel journey so far. Ciao.

Everyone back home I miss you and hope to speak to you all soon. I love you all.

Final goodbye

So this is it. My last weekend home. The big send off.

The week started with work of course...

Then finishes in party town.

Monday:

7:30am - 3:30pm. Work at the seedling factory. Complete jobs you would have never thought existed. With Amy

Tuesday:

7:30am - 2:30pm. Work at the seedling factory.

3:30pm - 4:00pm. Optometrist appointment. OPSM

6:30pm - 2:00am. Carnegies quiz night with 1/2 priced cocktails. With Manang Michelle

Wednesday:

7:30am - 2:30pm. Amy picked me up for work.

5:30pm - 5:45pm. Pick up meine automobile Jon.

5:45pm - 10:00pm. Visit Ondrej.

Thursday:

7:00am - 7:01am. Called in sick at work. Had such a good day Wednesday, that I didn't want to ruin it with a shit day today.

3:30pm - 4:30pm. Picked up Mish and brought her to the mall with me. Bought myself a lovely floral dress for tonight. While she bought herself some candy. Thank you so much for the journal.

6:30pm - 6:45pm. Picked up Brittney for a night out in town Fremantle.

8:00pm - 2:00am. Fucking good night.

Friday:

9:00am - All day. I got to spend the day cleaning my home today. Did a few loads of washing for my luggage case too.

Saturday:

9:30am - 12:30pm. Seventh day Adventist church.

3:30pm - 4:00pm. Amy came round to figure out her outfit while I skyped Brittney.

6:30pm - 7:00pm. Went to Amy's to then drive to Steph's crib. Left Jon there and started an adventure up into the city.

8:00pm - "God knows when". Fucking insane, crazy, lovely, embarrassing, forgotten, star struck, bruised, hurt, tears, feared, random, good looking, intoxicated night.

Sunday:

7:30am - 8:00am. What a long train ride home.

9:00am - 4:00pm. Slept, recovered from one insane night.

Monday:

8:30am. I awoke from one mighty slumber.

9:00am - 12:00pm. Packing my luggage case once again.

12:00pm - 12:54pm. Drafted my blog.

3:30pm - 5:30pm. Picked up Georgia and Kayla. Went to purchase travel insurance and withdraw the rest of my money from my account.

6:30pm - 9:30pm. The ladies came over for some "Goodbye" cake.

9:30pm. The goodbyes were said, the tears did fall. I shall miss you all so very much.

There is so much that has passed in the last week. So much craziness I didn't even think I could have accomplished. That said I did not accomplish these acts alone. To everyone that made it all happen, Thank you dearly. I really did enjoy all, even the parts I regret so very, very much. Thank you each and every one of you.

These are the memories..

Mish loves her Polaroids. This is OUR Polaroid.

I love that she notices. I was in need of new journal. Thank you for my Birthday present.

Blujuice.

Brittney.Jake.Sheena

He crushed me when he jumped into the crowd. It was lovely.

Jess it was so good to see you. I'm so glad I stalked you in to meet Bluejuice.

Thanking you. The holidays and Bluejuice.

So here are a few things that occurred Saturday night.

The not so pretty morning after.

My friends all decided to salvage what they could from my room.

Dear home, I am so very sad to leave, but to tell you the truth, it has not hit me yet. The goodbyes have not yet been said, so maybe then, maybe tonight the tears will fall.

Sincerely yours

Sheena Perndorfer

Gabrielle Hall..

"one day soon it will hit me that your presents is missing and that will be when i realise that you are actually gone. I am sad that you must go, but so proud that you are doing something so amazing for yourself. I have never been good with words so that was me trying to say, i will miss you with my whole heart and hope god blesses you with delightful experiences and sends you on a safe journey. Xx"

Brittney Martin..

"dear sheena, i hope you have the time of your life on your trip! I really wish we were good friends long before you leaving but better late than never! I'm really going to miss you but you will have so much fun and we will have skype dates and you will tell me all about it! Have a safe flight and i'll talk to you soon. All the best, (heart) brinny"

This is goodbye for now, not forever. I promise.

The week.

It's a week, "the" week. Exactly one week till I fly out into the sky. I am so very excited, but also so very scared. I keep telling myself it's going to be alright, because I know it will be. But I have that little something, that little piece of my mind, waiting, anxiously for the return home to the safe and known. I have waited exactly 21 extra days for this day to arrive, and in just 7 more it'll be thankfully here. I still have so much to do, so much to do in so little time. But the things unfinished will just be a reminder of my return home, in the long coming months.

I've spent as much time as I possibly can with "us" the family and friends. Imprinting each note of laughter. For it will be a while till I'll be able to hear. Imprinting each scent familiar to this home. For it will be a while till I'll be able to smell. Imprinting each characteristic of their faces. For it will be a while till I'll be able to see.

I've too, spent alot of time alone. Too much time, because time alone leaves too much time to think. To think of what could have been. What maybe should have been. But cannot, not for a while any way.

23rd April 2010

Matthew Czabotar's 18th Birthday party. Gabbirielle is part of MY band.

24th April 2010

Saturday night. Sam St. Jack's 18th. I love Tom's golden syrup bong.

30th April 2010

10past6 abandon house party. A shame it got cancelled. Damn popo.

1st May 2010

That's right, I made it into the background of a picture. Fuck yes.

Waited in the wrong fucking line. Got lost inside.

Received Today

Inbox Message details:

From: Gabgab Hall

Subject: You leave in a week :(

Date: 05/05/2010

Time: 9:00am

Type: Text message

Sent Message details:

Subject: I know. But that gives us 7 days, 21 more days than before.

Date: 05/05/2010

Time: 1:55pm

Type: Text message

To: Gabgab Hall <+61411......>

To help me along..

1. Ave M 2:32 Charles-François Gounod

2. Clair De Lune 4:28 Debussy

3. Des Pas Sur La Neige 4:17 Debussy

4. Kanon In D 4:25 Johann Pachelbel

5. Nocturnes 7:50 Debussy

6. New World Symp 4:38 Antonín Dvořák

7. Watermark 2:26 Enya

To those close, I love you. To those who've hurt me, I Forgive you. To those I've left behind, I'll miss you.